Four single female friends hang out together as they wait for Mr. Right. Or maybe for Mr. Right for This Year.
The friends bond over brunch and drinks. Guinness, though, not Cosmos
They wear custom designer shoes and fine leather halters. And one keeps a diary.
I’m not talking about those sassy New Yorkers from that cable show that turned into a movie franchise. Let’s imagine a different version of “Sex and the City.” Instead of Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte, let’s make the scene with 2010 Horse of the Year Zenyatta and her three friends Pirate Queen, Sea Gull and Alys.
Don’t worry. This post is suitable for all audiences. No naughty talk, no saucy activities and no – egads! – pink tutus.
But first, a little setup.
Zenyatta shares a barn and a turnout with three other maiden mares at Lane’s End Farm in Versailles, Kentucky. Like Zenyatta, none of her pals has ever given birth to a foal. Pirate Queen was her first friend, and remains her best equine friend. Then Sea Gull and Alys joined them.
Their barn is lit into the night to fake out their bodies so that their hormones will be ready for mating and foaling. Capone, the teaser stallion, has been visiting the barn to get them interested in romance.
In late January, Bernardini, a son of A.P. Indy, was announced as Zenyatta’s mate for 2010.
Are you up to speed now? Great. Here goes:
The lights are blazing late at night in the apartment building where our four friends live. They’re enjoying a night in with a movie and some – what else? – Guinness.
But Zenyatta has a little unfinished business … Imagine listening in:
Pirate Queen: Zenny, hurry up. Let’s watch that Secretariat movie. I could look at that all day.
Zenyatta: Just one … more … sentence …
Alys: You said that five minutes ago!
Sea Gull: Still blogging?
Zenyatta: It’s not a blog. It’s a diary.
Alys: Don’t reveal too much. It’s tacky.
Capone (swaggers in): Hey, ladies. How you doin’? Hey, Zenyatta Mondatta. Let’s put on a Sting CD, cherie, and go gaze at the stars.
Zenyatta: About that … Capone, we need to talk.
Capone: And I’m listening, my long tall drink of dark ale —
Zenyatta: I’m promised to Bernardini.
Capone: Well, I don’t see Bernardini here. But I am … and you are …
Zenyatta: I’m sorry, Capone, but we – us – this can’t go anywhere. It’s over.
Capone: It’s not like the fun is done, my frisky filly.
Zenyatta: That’s the point. I’m a mare. It’s time I settled down and started a family.
Capone: Nothing ol’ Capone can’t help you with. Let’s switch some of that Guinness for a bit of bubbly —
Pirate Queen: Hello? Earth to Capone. Don’t you read the trades? Zenyatta’s in an arranged marriage.
Alys: With someone suitable.
Capone: Suitable? I was ‘just fine’ last week.
Zenyatta: I’m sorry, Capone. What can I say? We had some laughs, but he’ll make a better father. His children are winning graded stakes races.
Capone: Hmm. Let me guess? Now you just want to be friends? Story of my life.
Zenyatta: I think I might have monogamy. I hear it’s going around.
Alys: Oh my! Maybe we should tell the vet tomorrow?
With thanks to the writers and producers of Sex and the City from which some of the lines were paraphrased.